During my studies this week I have pondered a lot on the families and the different things that can affect them. For example, did you know that basically everything we do is shaped by the interactions we have with people? I didn’t until last Monday. This is something called symbolic interaction. Things as simple as a hug, or how we speak or even the facial expressions we use are symbolic and can often be misread. For example, has someone in your family ever said or done something that makes you really mad, but you find out later that wasn’t what they meant. I have. One distinct memory I have with this deals with my younger sister. We played basketball together and one day I was feeling targeted by her and her friends. I am not a saint and I kinda threw a fit. I yelled at her for quite a while and she was so confused. Later my parents talked to me and helped me understand the situation better. Let's just say that the situation got way out of hand. Now that I look back on it I can see how I completely misinterpreted everything my Sister did that day, but it taught me a very useful lesson.
This is supported by the conflict theory which states that if you have 2 intelligent capable individuals you will eventually have conflict. Conflict is natural and can happen in many different ways. It can all end very friendly or it can end up with screaming and throwing things. If you try to resolve your conflicts with others in the way that I did, it isn’t a very pretty sight complete with tears, anger and so much more. In order for it to end more amiably you should have a good way to resolve the issue. There are many things you can do for this, talking to the other person is huge, you can try to observe what they are doing and change your mindset or of course run away from the whole situation. Just kidding, do not do that last one. In many instances if you talk to the other person after you have given yourself some time to not be so heated you will be able to see the situation from their side and not be so angry. Being able to have a conversation with someone without anger is often the best way to resolve conflict. The other option I mentioned is to try and observe the other individual. Oftentimes if you watch them long enough you will understand how they work and it will help you to look back through your memories and resolve the issue. I know it has helped me, and while it may not look like the best solution, when you add it to the first solution they become splendid!
The last thing that I would like to touch base on deals with family therapy. Have been to a family therapy session? I sure haven’t but I recently practiced what it would be like to be in a family therapy session. The lessons I took from this were incredible!!!! Did you know that often when there are issues in the family it deals with how close each individual is? Well, it does. There are different boundaries we can build around us and the people we associate with. These boundaries are called rigid, open, clear. When you have rigid boundaries you don’t really talk or have any sort of intimate conversation. It is kinda like you have built a brick wall between the two of you and is very hard to get through. Open boundaries means that you are close and share lots of things with each other, but you still have your secrets. Wow! You don’t have to tell someone everything in order to be close to them. Isn’t it incredible! Clear boundaries mean you basically have no boundary. You spend so much time together and share everything. While these can all be good in their own ways it is always better to have more open boundaries. When this is the case you are more likely to understand the symbolism of why someone does something without being annoyed because you can repeat what is going on in their head to make that decision. In the mock therapy session I participated in, the mother and daughter were super close and were best friends. The poor father wanted to be close to them as well but was working very hard in order to provide for his family. He wanted to have a good relationship with his daughter but just didn’t know how to develop it. The therapist helped with this by focusing on their similarities and making bridges over the walls. This helped to resolve the problem and they were able to go on with their lives paying more attention to each other's needs. This is essential because family relationships can guide you in all that you do and provide a cushion of protection during your hard times. I hope this helps you in your focus on your family this week. See you next time!
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